01-04-3019 – The Prime Minister of Earth is on a two planet visit this coming Friday. He will be touring the planets Mars & Uranus. He recently acquired a huge piece of land on Uranus, where he plans to build an arts and sciences facility where human bodies will be used to create fuel for space travel.
His children, Ape One & Ape Two will be running this facility. Both his children have been on Uranus for their Masters in space fuelling, after completing their graduation on Mars last year.
Both Ape One and Ape Two are brilliant twenty five year old children of our PM. They are also considered as the brightest humans ever to exist.
The twins were born with special abilities. The elder one is three seconds older to the younger one. The remarkable thing is that while the younger one uttered his first word 4 seconds after he was born, the elder one took 8 seconds to do the same.
This is still far ahead, the average time taken to speak the first word has been 11.39 seconds for the past two decades.
Ape One is a trained observer of space pilots and has overseen several space missions as a Chief Pilot. Ape Two has been instrumental in the ”peel-by-peel” designing of the latest space ship known as the Onion, which uses human bodies for its fuel.
The PM also praised the people of the Earth for their contribution towards the future. “The generosity of the people of the Earth will be remembered for several centuries and generations” he said, and thanked every single person on Earth for contributing a week’s pay for the last twenty five years to make this dream come true.
The PM today addressed the conference attended by eminent scientists from Mars & Uranus about his vision for the future – “HUMANS BODY: Fuel of the Future.”
The transcript of his speech is as below –
“I Welcome you all into the future and I can’t wait to tell you how excited I’am in announcing that we are most closest to our dream taking shape. Soon Ape Two will be stepping out of ONION with a historical step on URANUS; Onion will be using human bodies to fuel its travel.” (and tears rolled out his eye’s but he continued with a brief pause.
“I congratulate the hard work of Ape One & Ape Two on dreaming this 25 years ago; those were the times when the people of earth were divided by Colour, Religion & Borders, there was mass destruction taking place in the name of power, control by one ideology over others. We removed every barrier, we talked everyone out and created a society of equals, only our purpose kept us and all leaders kept us equal amongst equals to serve the mission.
See how the world has since changed for good times; no killings, no bombings and people die their natural death out of working. People enjoy working now more than ever; we have created an army of patriots who no longer die protecting boundaries but instead would love to die for future. This is where it all began, while we controlled hatred we could not think of a better way of putting patriotism at work. I clearly remember; when we squeezed the first batch of prisoners of peace into this giant furnace and the amount of energy it created, astounding. I’m thrilled to announce that it didn’t go waste, every body that has gone into this furnace has made it possible for us to travel into the outer space and extend our horizons. We will start using this enthusiasm to fuel ONION and venture out on our mission to write history.
Since it is also a matter of love and emotions of their loved one’s we have decided to keep this mission alive by only using live bodies, no dead bodies going in; when was the last time you saw any energy in a dead body. It shall be left alone for their family members to give an honourable departure, we share their pain and want them to come out stronger and selflessly devote to our missions of the future.
“Here I’am, with leaders of the future Ape One, Ape Two bringing to you ONION to finally cut the ribbon.” PM Scissor said and the crowd busted into applause from somewhere in the clouds. Finally the National Anthem of the earth was played…
Give what you have to the future as that is there to come,
Here we are today singing and tomorrow we will be numb,
Why do we have to struggle and what for, since life is fable,
Come on join the army of sucked no fun in being comfortable…
Let us run as fast as we can time is short so much to accomplish,
Once we all have to slow down, but before that, create future that’s furbish,
In sleep we work we work day and night lets put one hell of a fight,
Say ONION day-n-night, we are the fuel of future, that’s our only right…
The first batch to fuel the take off of ONION will be fuelled by all the leaders who came together 25 years back and the stage will be fired by Ape One, Ape Two and father of the Earth, Scissor.
This is it for now, stay tuned for the next edition of “Knowledge Shoving”…